Monthly Archives: October 2014

The More Loving One

W. H. Auden, 19071973

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.


How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us, we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.


Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.


Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

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Exams :/

This week is mid term week and my goodness, we have really covered a lot of ground. When I was studying and reading millions of pages of notes each week, I didn’t realize how much it would all add up.

Anyways I was sharing with my hubby about my first test on Monday night. I told him that I was feeling kinda meh when I realized I only was confident of 80% of the answers but then felt significantly better when a classmate said the test was good cause she felt confident of 75% of the answers. (Mental note to be less harsh on self!)

I think I need to focus less on the grade and more on the learning. The former gives a lot of counter productive stress and the latter is what I want at the end of the day anyway.

Somehow exams unleash this crazy I want to do EXCELLENTLY-AT-ALL-COSTS mentality.

I really like my cohort of grad students, everyone is just very hardworking and friendly.

Kris gave me a good PEP talk about working hard and not stressing about grades until the point he told me he only got ONE!!!!! A- for his Masters in Computer Science. I’m like what!!! The rest were all perfect As?????


But whatever, I am not him. I can only try my very best!


Happy Birthday My Love

Happy Birthday my Dear Husband!

My hero and best friend!

Thank you for being that special person who walks with me, listens to me, hugs my booboos in life and challenges me to be better everyday. You’re so amazing in so many ways. Always encouraging, loving, and kind. You’re the best mate ever!

You’re an excellent husband, the smartest software guy I know and the best CEO ever!

There are a thousand things I love about you, but the best trait that I absolutely adore is how down to earth you are. I’m extremely proud of what you have accomplished in the past year and I know that you will continue to thrive and probably even exceed your own expectations!

Happy 34th old man!


Achievement unlocked!

It has been 626 days since I moved to NYC.

But tonight I finally felt like saw a breakthrough in my “PROJECT CHARBOT CONQUERS AMERICA“!!! 

I remember when I first got to NYC and hung out with Kris’s friends/work buddies. I did not freaking understanding their humor, colloquialism and general references to the ‘American’ way. I give some credit to the field that my husband is in, people in tech have a different way of expressing themselves. No really, hang around some (cool) geeks one day and you will notice the difference. 


Today I sat down for a 4.5 hour dinner/drinks shenanigan and I totally UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID. I laughed a lot and was able to poke fun at people. (right back-atcha!)

I came home and realized I didn’t have to ask Kristopher, what did ‘xxx’ mean when he said ‘yyy’. Statistically speaking, it was with similar variables of his ex-colleagues, therefore I feel like the analysis of my learning of “Americanisms’ has vastly improved. I probably learnt most of it prior to today’s 626 mark, but today was a proven ‘test’. After all, you must start an experiment with similar variables!

And  you know what?


Makes the OCD in me extremely pleased because I like to to be in control and know (almost) everything and anything. True I might not know a lot of things in the grand scheme of things, but mastering something new always feels AWESOME!

PS: Spring, if you do read this. I would like you to know that Matt said this at least 3 times over dinner: (and I quote), “My wife is BEAUTIFUL”.

Life has been good to us

There is a lot of working going on in the Beevers household. Both of us like to be busy and we’re both sufficiently engaged and intellectually stimulated with the work we’re currently doing. We work a lot because we like what we’re doing.

During our walk back from dinner last night from our Japanese dinner , I was remarking to Kris (with reference to his business).

“I wonder when we will be considered successful/rich in Manhattan?”

Given that the latest apartments with a 360degree view is going for 130++million or something ridiculous like that. I was telling him that as an educator, I’ll never be rich (not in the strictly financial sense at least). So am I damned to be poor in NYC? >.<

Kris said something that really left me thinking about our current lives.

“We’re already very rich, because we can both do what we want to do without worrying about money.”

My husband sometimes sprouts words of wisdom and I’m often in awe of how little he truly cares about cash, status or prestige.

So yes, life has been good to us because we are able to do what we want in life. After all, isn’t the pursuit of money supposed to make us internally rich and not just externally so? The latter is often sought by most people, in their ability to showcase wealth, status symbols through material things. But how often do we think about enriching our own lives? Intellectually, Spiritually, or Morally?

So my question is, what are you pursuing in your life today to enrich your life?