Monthly Archives: September 2014

Inundation of Information

The learning curve of entering a new educational institution is difficult. Not so much about the content of new information per se but mostly navigating the learning management platforms, library placement of E-reserve books, E journals and the 10000 different user ID and passwords for various school related websites. Of course given User Ids/Passwords will not work, or some would have funny presets that nobody knows about, you encounter trouble connecting to the school wifi and the list goes on. That part is annoying but part and parcel of acclimatizing to a new program. The good news is: It will pass in a few weeks!

Honestly the avalanche of mini projects, mid-terms, exams, weekly submissions of various assignments, pre assessment tests for lectures attended, individual presentations, group presentations and mountain of readings handed out each week is kinda overwhelming. After attending all 3 classes, I’m officially canceling all of my social engagements till December 22th, 2014.

However as part of my positivity drive of 2014. I am going to focus on the good!So here’s the list I’m going to focus on:

1) At least I’m not working part time/full time and/or have a kid like some of my classmates.

2) I know I’m attending a rigorous program that will benefit me, according of the old adage, “nothing worth doing in life is easy”.

3) I have to get a new root canal crown (because my old dentist is an IDIOT and left a gap between the crown and the tooth), which makes me very very scared and nervous not to mention the time factor! BUT it will be INFINITELY WORSE  if my tooth rots and then I will be in a LOT MORE PAIN. Plus, I’m glad I like my new dentist a WHOLE lot more. From the dental hygienist to the receptionist, everyone is pleasant and friendly. Kris likes them very much too and they did good work on his teeth. That lucky man has zero cavities in his entire life, I hope our future kids inherit his good genes (for teeth), his intelligence and tenacity + inherit my cuteness, introspectiveness and knack for not taking crap from anyone.

4) I have restarted my intensive exercising regime. For the last 5 days, I have exercised for at least 30 minutes each day instead of 1-2 times a week.

** I got something hilarious to share tho, I had a conversation with my MIL the other day and she mentioned that she has passed on the baton (of caring for Kris’s health) to me. So for the past week, I had been bugging Kris to exercise with no luck. Finally, last night I got exasperated and told him, “Remember what your mum said about passing the baton of care to me after marrying you? Well, I’m going to call her now and ask her for A REFUND.” I thought I was hilarious. 😛 He didn’t. 😛

“ALL GROWN UP”

I came home late last night from class and Kris had made his own dinner of hotdogs and chips. *frown at unhealthiness* *beam at self reliance*

This morning, he brewed his own coffee (+mine), made his own oatmeal and even packed his own turkey sandwich.

MY BABY BOY IS ALL GROWN UP AND INDEPENDENT NOW!!!!

*insert evil cackle*

I kid. It was very sweet of him, I told him once that once I start school I will have less time to do everything at home and apparently he HEARD me! Despite his head being buried deep into his computer screen, but then again his head is always buried into some technological device so that’s a moot point.

I even had flowers to ‘congratulate’ me on completion of my first statistic class. Which by the way wasn’t all that bad, I think I’m going to enjoy it.

IMG_4634

Speaking off being all grown up, I fired my old dentist and switched to a new provider. Partly because the older one did not have an ounce of compassion in his bone, I also blame him for my current tooth issues. I walked in last year with no pain what so ever and happy like a lark. After he was done with me, which took 2 excruciating months, a root canal and 9 tooth invasions, I have been living with a pain I never felt prior to that 2 months. SERIOUSLY!!!!!! #@%*&$%@(^$(*@^$

I’m mortified of dentists, because I’m highly insensitive to the novocaine injection and he just was very dismissive towards me because I was so scared. I’m scared for a reason!!!

In any case, I hope this dentist is better and less of an ASS. I need to man up when it comes to dentists. It won’t be all bad, I will just explain my novocaine concerns and if she’s dismissive in any way, I’m not going to sit about submissively and let her ‘tooth rape’ me. I’m just going to find a dentist that I’m more comfortable with. Her reviews on ZocDoc are excellent though, so hopefully like my GP, she’s going to be kind and sympathetic to my *ahem* irrational as well as logical fears.

I mean if you always feel pain even after the injection, its a logical fear right? (PROOF) But then again pain is 70% psychological, so it could be that I’m imagining the pain? BUT BUT, when I let the medicine sit in long enough, usually I don’t feel the pain. But my stupid old dentist used to overbook his appointments so tightly that he just went straight into the procedure despite my protests. AHHHHHHHH all this thinking is rehashing my nightmare from last year.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid

I am not afraid.

I’m all grown up now!!!!!

*proceeds to beg Kris to come to the dentist with me*

Tee hee hee.

It is all going to be alright. It is only PAIN! The sharp shooting, brain numbing, soul piercing pain will only last for a while!!!!!

Back to school: with a plethora of emotions

Today marks the 1st day of class for my Masters in Educational Psychology in Hunter College. I am ridiculously and unapologetically excited. I feel my heart fluttering and beating quite quickly just thinking about it.

For this semester, I opted to just take 2.5? classes (The norm is 2 and there’s some pro seminar thing which I don’t know much about yet)  I wanted to slowly ease back into the system and enjoy the process. Unlike during my BA and Post Grad Dip days, where I had to run from tuition kid to tuition kid and/or part-time jobs, after/before classes. I now can luxuriate in printing notes, looking through class materials and blogging before class. This feeling is AWESOME! I must remember to thank my proud sponsor and loving husband for it all.

I’ve always wanted to study outside of the Singapore Education System and given my financial background in the past, I could scarcely afford my UBC exchange program without the two scholarships, I was extremely lucky to get. This time I feel even luckier because for once in my life, I need not worry about how am I going to pay the bills! I can just enjoy the process of studying and not have any stress about paying for books, maintaining a high GPA to be kept in my scholarship program or worry about my tuition kids, who often had the same exam periods as mine! I might get a part-time job/internship for the exposure to the educational field in my 2nd semester tho. Or perhaps, I will just continue volunteering for New York Cares because the organization is great and I enjoy working with less privileged children.

I feel ridiculously blessed to be at this stage in life where I feel I have no major struggle.  Honestly, I almost feel emotional just thinking about it. I was raised in a way, circumstantial or otherwise, that I was never just given stuff. I had to work hard for the things I wanted. Both my grandparents were from extremely humble backgrounds, endured great hardships and hence I was taught that education was an extremely extremely important means to live a better life, in a strictly financial sense (unfortunately). However, I now have the opportunity to engage in education in a ‘self actualization’, vis-a-vis education to satisfy ‘physiological needs’. I can learn for the sake of gaining knowledge and for betterment of self. Perhaps I shouldn’t have viewed them as dichotomous relationships, but I used to; for the instincts of survival was too overpowering.

I was never extremely intelligent so, in order to do well in school and in work; I compensated by having to work harder than the average Joe. I used to bemoan the fact that I wasn’t naturally gifted or handed silver spoons while growing up. But now, I’m extremely grateful that I have had to work hard to achieve the opportunities I have now. For it has given me clarity of thought, a mature and well grounded attitude in life and more importantly it has taught me to  be grateful,humble and content for the things I have. I’ve grown up to know,  not to feel entitled, and more importantly be responsible for my life because nobody was going to ‘rescue’ me. It is with this belief that I’m not going to pay for all of my (future possible) kid’s college tuition. I will give them a fixed amount, and they would have to work hard to get their own scholarships to fund the rest. Or perhaps they can choose to go to NUS or NTU which are world classes institutions at 1/4 the price of a private American college on par in terms of ranking (according to the Princeton Review). Yes I am very proud of my home Universities!

I have worked hard in the past and now, have reaped some of the benefits of that hard work in my youth. I acknowledge that I have a long way to go, and more hard work needs to be done, but I also realized that it is time for a well-deserved pat in my back. I have always been unnecessarily harsh with myself, and that has impeded much of the happiness in my journey through life. Through my quest for happiness and meaning in my life, I’ve finally realized that contentment and gratefulness are important trajectories of happiness. It’s not just about how much you have, but how much you appreciate what you have.