I think the problem with fairly tales is that they portray marriage as an end and not the beginning. Think of Snow white, Cinderella and Rapunzel, there’s always a built up of a conflict that invariably is resolved in a marriage.
” ……and they thereby lived happily ever after ……..”
In short we’re telling all the little girls that hey, ‘Marriage solves ALL your problems.’ Not to mention that the ladies in this stories are always the victim and will eventually be ‘SAVED’ by the gallant and heroic male counter parts?
In short, I think fairy tales idealize marriage and attach a very gender-ized role to women in fairy tales. I mean there is a whole lot more implications given to this label and subjugates women as docile ,submissive, weak and in need of rescuing. I’m not the world’s greatest feminist but to teach a child at the age of 5 that marriage SOLVES ALL your problems and that a man is going to come valiantly rescue you at 25 is just going to give her a BLOODY RUDE SHOCK when she gets married.
Marriage will solve NONE of your problems, YOU have to solve your own problems.
I know I’m beginning to sound like cupid’s evil twin but the reality of the situation is such! We really need to re-teach our stories to little girls! Let them watch Pocahontas and Mulan instead of just Cinderella and Snow White!
I mean marriage can have a happily ever after of course, but like any thing worth doing in life, it requires a SHIT load of work. It requires unconditional love, forgiveness, compromise, compassion etc etc. I mean adapting to another person in your life almost 24 hours a day is no walk in the park!
Loving a person requires a lot of work.
I don’t mean love in the sense of chocolate and flowers, brilliant sunset cruises and romantic getaways.
I mean the REAL sort of love,
the type of love that continues to love despite being hurt,
the type of love that continues unconditionally despite being greatly disappointed,
the type of love that lets you compromise conflicting needs to accommodate another person in your life,
the type of love that trusts and continues to believe in the goodness of your being,
(which is not that easy because lets face it, nobody is lovable all the time!)
the type of love that tolerates and cleans up the mess you left behind.
(RAWRRRRR, this one is for you Kris :P)
In short I guess that:
I believe in love and I believe in happily ever after.
But I no longer believe in fairy tales. 😀
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