Inner Wisdom

Every cell of my body is screaming all sorts of vulgarities at the crap lawyer we hired.

We hired her to make sure that our paperwork for USCIS will be filed properly so that we will not have to be apart so long.

After almost 7 months, USCIS sends us back a Request for Evidence (RFE) saying that our paperwork was incomplete. Incomplete in what way, I have no idea till I get the hardcopy of the RFE. (Which takes goodness knows how long to arrive)

I am literally sick to my stomach, at the level of incompetency she has displayed. This is really the last straw, it doesn’t matter if she was talking to other clients 4-5 times when she was having a face-to-face discussion about our VISA. It doesn’t matter that she lied to use straight in the face about calling us over, because she did not want to process a change of address It doesn’t matter that she replies email haphazardly and is so nonchalant and answers selective questions when we email her. BUT SERIOUSLY, NOT FILING PROPER PAPER WORK TO THE IMMIGRATIONS AND CUSTOMS IS YOUR RICE BOWL WOMAN! HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE?

I am channeling every fibre of my being now, to try to accept all of this as ‘bad luck’. There is nothing I can do about it really. I can only suck it up and continue this wait.

I need to ask my inner wisdom, what is the correct thing to do, what is the correct emotion that I must embrace. I believe that the inner wisdom inside me that knows that correct things to do and feel. I need to bring that out and suppress this current MADDENING SURGE OF INFURATION/DESOLATION/DEEP DISPAIR that is raging inside me. I am so hot and bothered now, that I can practically feel hot air radiating from my body. (Then again it could be the oppressive weather)

I can make it thru this, I am more than half way done. I need to do this for Kris, at least try being in the US for 2 years.

I CAN.

I HAVE TOO

I WILL.

Maybe I will take a risk and get an air ticket to go there for his birthday (Oct 26) and thanksgiving (Nov 22). I might get turned back straight away at the border and brought to secondary clearance and totally traumatized and shouted at. But hey no guts no glory right!

On a happier note, this is Isaiah ‘talking’ to Kris on google hangouts today!

When I woke up, I cuddled Isaiah and asked him, ‘What should Yiyi Do’? He smiled at me in response! This baby is very selective in dishing out his uber adorable smile. So I think he was asking me to smile! Smile despite the rainyclouds!

(My interpretation of his smile!)

Isaiah: “Bring out your strength in character Yiyi!Bring me out to play! Don’t frown! Don’t cry! Cuddle me and smile!”

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