2011 has gone by almost in a flash. The year has been significant in many ways, it marked the end of my teaching days (at least for a while). For the past 3 years teaching consumed my life and the end of finishing my bond left a bittersweet memory.
In its totality I fee like I’ve largely succeeded as a teacher. I have learnt many things from this last couple of years and it has humbled me to a certain extent. There are things I wished I hadn’t done, wished I had managed certain emotions better but mostly I wished I hadn’t been so hard on myself. (As you can see I am doing it again!)
I feel like I’ve succeeded because I made a difference and impact on some. I have grown as a teacher and as a person. I became a lot more introspective and more acutely aware of my strengths and limitations. I became more principled and stuck to my instincts a lot more. I have also been more confident in my abilities in some way. At the same time, I am more aware of what I do not want in my life. However what I want is not too clear as yet.
2012 is going to be extra special because I am finally flying away from my nest. Somehow I knew that this day would come. Singapore will always be my home but somehow I ALWAYS knew that I needed to be in a place less pragmatic, a little more idealist and a lil less materialistic.
The last 3 years killed a lot of my idealism and made me more cynical. Some of it was due to circumstantial reasons but could have been avoided if I was equipped with the right tools. I loved what I did, yet at the same time what I was doing, or rather the institution that I was in made me more cynical and emotionally drained then I would have liked. I still feel that I would have made a greater difference to my students if I had done some things a little differently and handed certain emotions a little more carefully. But it was a good learning curve for me. I stood firm in my beliefs, fought hard for my integrity and for that I will be eternally proud of myself. I refused to be betray my conscience and bend over backwards for things that I didn’t believe in, regardless of the cost. It made my life a little harder, but difficult things concretise character and makes one stronger.
I am going to miss the friends I made there. Some of which I feel I will be able to keep when I’m gone. Some of which I will lose, but that is the reality of life. At every stage different people become more important, but memories…. Ahhhhhhh….memories can never be stolen from you.
I am crazily excited about this big move, but also nervous as hell. Nonetheless I’m confident that it provides me with better opportunities. I’m not sure exactly where I will be after the next couple of months but I know that I am lucky as hell to be able to quit my job for a while and take a break.
I am going to use 2012 as a period of rest for me. To find myself, enjoy my life, travel as much as possible and recharge myself for the amazing opportunities ahead of me. I am really excited and I cannot wait to begin this new journey of mine. Legally as Mrs B, after March 14.
Thank you creator of the universe. Whoever you may be. In whatever shape of form, for,
I am blessed in so many ways.